Posted January 13, 2010 / Christina Cox

by Christina Cox, new mom blogger

It’s that time of year again and it’s time to start thinking about my New Year’s Resolutions. Since all of my lists tend to be long, I decided to focus on just a few things. Here’s what I came up with: Answer my phone or return calls in a timely manner; respond to emails within a 24 hour period; and stop being so darn snippy. While to many my list of resolutions seems pretty manageable, I think most mothers (especially new ones) would agree that it sounds more like a nightmare than a breeze.
So, I’m gearing up to tackle my list and I’m feeling pretty good about it. Last night, my husband’s godmother came over for dinner. After dinner, we all started talking about raising children and the use of nannies, how some use them more than others. I use one for a few hours a few times a week. (Hello, she’s a Godsend!) Anyway, my husband’s godmother decided to start in that having two kids isn’t so hard that you should need a fulltime nanny. I actually stopped her and said, “Wait a minute, having ONE is super hard!” And, the godmother actually said, “Oh no, it’s not hard, honey, my mother had four children. “ And, she continued on her point. Are you kidding me? First of all, she doesn’t have children, so how would she know? And second, my husband sat with her the entire night with a nice little Scotch, while I finished making Max’s dinner, prepared ours, gave him a bath, got his pjs on, served our dinner, read him bedtime stories, gave him a bottle, put him down and offered dessert. I realized that that general ignorance partially explains my penchant for being a bit on the grumpy side these days and actually made me want to be snippy for the rest of the night. But I bit my tongue.
During that whole early evening exchange, my sister called. I didn’t hear my phone ring because I wasn’t carrying it around with me and was busy. She was stuck in the middle of nowhere because her car broke down and was on her way to my house. She had forgotten her cell phone and was calling from a pay phone. Strike two for me. (She called a friend and got a ride to my house safely.) And, I just now got to my emails and actually lost a babysitter for an important night because I hadn’t responded quickly enough. It’s not even a week into the New Year and I’m failing miserably.
I think I have every right to be snippy, as I’ve mentioned before in my blog, this mom stuff is hard. But here’s the thing: I hate the way snippiness makes me feel. And, I fear that when you start being that way, you get into a habit and then it just becomes a part of you. And, that’s not ok. Last night, I decided to bite my tongue when the topic came up and it was hard. And, at the end of the night, my husband gave me a big hug and said I was amazing and thanked me for dinner. He also gave me the highest compliment I could ever get, that our little 15 month-old Max is doing so well only because of me. And, he thanked me for raising such an incredible little person and said he’s the luckiest man on the planet. Wow. Biting my tongue paid off.
As for the phone calls and emails, I changed my resolutions to “Do the best you can this year.” And, I think that should cure the snippiness too.