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My daughter comes home with a bad attitude

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Name: Jayme Quick
Question: Dear Jen and Barb. I discovered your site through an ad. I love it!~ So here is MY question. I have a 6 year old daughter. We are a blended family and she sees her paternal grandmother quite often. Sometimes twice a month because her father doesn’t ask for her (he lives with his mother). Every time she comes home she has a HORRIBLE attitude. Doesn’t listen, backtalks at every chance she gets, is generally just a not LISTENING child or a THINKING child Like I have taught her. Takes me WEEKS sometimes longer to get her back to the way we have taught her and by that time GMA is asking for her again. How do we fix this so that it doesn’t happen EVERY time?? Please help!

Jayme, Thank you for reaching out to us. The first step would be talking to her Grandmother about the situation. It takes a village and her Grandmother is part of that village. It can be confusing for children to have a blended family and they may act out as they don’t have the ability to understand their emotions. I would start by talking to her Grandmother about the rules that she has at her house vs. the rules at yours and see if you can be a united front. I hope this helps. Please let us know how it goes and if you are still having problems, please write back. Best, Jen

4 Responses to “My daughter comes home with a bad attitude”

  1. Dr.Nidhi Tripathi says:

    I’m also having 6 year old daughterand often faced similar problem as yours.I feel children at this very growing stage are sometimes self assertive so all you can try is to make the change in her behaviour by appreciating her good work and also try to tell her stories with a message regarding the change you are expecting in her behaviour.

  2. Rosalyn says:

    Dear Jayme, I am a single mother with a 14 year old daughter and the dynamics of two households can be very challenging for children (at all ages), especially if all the village folks are not on the same page. Your daughter may be testing boundaries when she get home because the rules are so far different at GMa’s house. I would suggest giving her lots of extra love and let her know that her behavior when she gets home is confusing for you because that is not the daughter that you know her to be. Ask her if there is a reason why she comes home acting out like that, She may be really upset about something from the other household and doesn’t know how to express those feelings since she is ONLY 6yrs old. She may be copying behavior from others and with time (and parenting from you) she will learn bad, negative behavior doesnt warrant positive results. It can be very hard ( I know!) to seemingly always be the teaching parent, but the outcome serves your daughter the best in the long run.

  3. Barb says:

    Leslie,
    I couldn’t agree with you more! I would let her know that may be the way she can act at Grandma’s house but that definitely isn’t happening in mommies house. Also that if she continues to act that way she won’t be going to grandma’s house (that’s if you dont need the babysitting.) barb

  4. Leslie says:

    I would tell my child to leave her luggage at the door. That means her clothes from the weekend and all the negative energy she has. Let her know that your rules for your home are different and she is welcome to wait outside until she is ready to be herself as she was before visiting. And you will take care of all clothes laundry later.

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