What’s in a (Last) Name?
Guest Blogger: Kailani of An Island Life
When you got married, did you take your husband’s last name? Kept your maiden name? Hyphenated it? In the past, there was no question about it . . . when you got married your husband’s last name became yours. However, women now have other choices available to them.
Personally, I got married late in life and was so used to using my maiden name that changing it was somewhat of an adjustment. How were all my business contacts going to know it was me? However, in the end I decided to take my husband’s last name because I just felt it was the right thing to do . . . for us and for our future family.
And here’s why . . .
First of all, I feel that changing my last name did not in any way take away from who I am. My last name may now be different but I still have the same beliefs, the same identity, the same independence that I’ve always had. It also does not make me feel any less a part of the family I grew up with. However, that being said, there are times when my parents suggest that I use a hyphenated version of my last name whenever I’m quoted in publications so that their friends know who I am. “They won’t know you’re our daughter if you don’t use your maiden name.”
Secondly, changing my last name did not mean I was now totally dependent on my husband. When we got married we did open up a joint checking account where we currently both deposit the same percentage of our paychecks into. The more you work the more you contribute. This checking account is used to pay for bills, tuitions, and grocery runs. Everything else I make goes into my personal account that I have complete control over.
Third, I think it’s important for everyone in my family to have the same last name . . . husband, wife, kids. Even our pets have our last name! I think it emphasizes a more cohesive family unit and gives my children a sense of security. And yes, if a couple does get divorced it is a pain to have to change your name again. However, when you think about the big picture there are probably more important things to think about during this time than your last name.
All in all, whether to change your last name or not is a personal decision that is best left to the couple. I honestly do not feel one way is better than the other as long as it’s done for the right reasons. In fact, I have a girl friend who hyphenated her last name but put her maiden name last because she thought it sounded better. I also have a guy friend who took his wife’s last name because she was an only child and they wanted the family name to live on. Who’s to say what’s right and wrong? Just make your decision based on what you can live with and what you feel is best for your situation.
